Let me tell you a story of a little girl. From a young age, she's always thought she had it all figured out.
As the kids ran past her for recess, she watched carefully, taking it all in. Doors swung wide open, kids racing to the swings, the monkey bars, the chalked four square, the kickball field, the basketball court. She slowly paced behind, her eyes transitioning from ground to teacher to sky, trying to find comfort in her surrounds. Each child seemed to have a place on the playground and so did she. The park bench at the very edge of the basketball court, just a short distance from the hoop. Courtside, she had the best view from here. She could look on at all her classmates playing in their appropriate parts of the playground. Sometimes she had the playground monitor to converse with, but mostly she sit quiet and alone. Staring down boy. Her heart leaped as boy jumped and her heart soared as the ball swished through the hoop. She was one with boy, with the game. She could feel the energy as he ran for the ball, as he yelled and screamed at his teammates to pass the ball, as he ran out of breath and needed water, she wished she had a secret stash of water to provide. Her imagination flowed and before she knew it the bell rang. It was time to go inside. Today's daydream was over. That evening as she lay in bed, she could recount each shot boy made, she could remember each assist, each block, each break, each dunk. She was certain this was love, she was 9 yrs old of course she had it all figured out. She closed her eyes, fell asleep, dreamt of him, and the next day a similar story would repeat.
13 years later, as she recalls this story, she remembers the feelings she felt, the foolishness her dreams set her up for, the reality her imagination led her to believe in, and as she realizes the similarities between this childhood tale and her current approach to love, she wonders if she will ever grow up and when she will understand the reality that exists beyond the one her imagination has comfortably led her to believe in... for so many years.
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