Evenin Blessin

Small hand upon your cheek
That twinkle in her eyes...
Has it been there all week?

A book, a prayer, a song
Her nighttime routine
Doesn't last very long

And then it's off to bed
Goodnight and Sweet Dreams
As she lays down her head

My baby girl's asleep
Her dream has begun
No need for counting sheep

She's my only true love
My Evenin' Blessin
That God sent from above

Energy... Wasted?

The buzz on the street is that waste can be turned into energy.
Can I waste energy and then take that waste and turn it into energy?
A recycle per se – a second chance to not waste the energy in the first place?
As I look back on the energy wasted I wonder in what form it could have taken?
What could that energy have been put forth to create?
Can I transform another’s wasted energy?
Can I prevent the energy from wasting?

And the ramble continues in my mind... the rest is mine!

Convoluted Happiness

Smile and a tear, Laughter with fear
Familiar sound I faintly hear

Sunshine and rain, Joy mixed with pain
Strolling down a long windy lane

A common thread, the path we tread
A vision of what lies ahead

I ask you to, Remember who
Caused those rays of light to shine through

And then one day, the truth you may
See for yourself and share away

You will tell me, Clearly I'll see
That it was simply meant to be!

Lovin Beyonce's New Album!

HALO:
Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light
I swore I’d never fall again
But this don’t even feel like falling
Gravity can’t forget
So pull me to the ground again
Feels like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
The risk that I’m taking
I’m never gonna shut you out

BROKEN-HEARTED GIRL:
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl
Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out




Yeah... yeah... I know...I'm a total sappy hopeless romantic fool! :) Gotta love me for that!

Spiritual Deputization

You are free as the wind
You soar and nothing hind-
ers you from reaching those heights
Your vision stretches beyond my present sights

Me, I’m somewhat restrained
Somewhat lacking in being well trained
To teach, and reach out far and wide
To travel the world, make that big stride

I want to spiritually deputize you
I want to live through you
Your travels, your experiences, your knowledge, your desires
Your passions, your conversations, your interactions, your fires

Travel the world for me
Teach every soul you meet
Don’t ever be a slight bit coy
Bring me back a piece of the joy

I’ll pray that you will be safe in your path
I hope blessings for you in his plan god hath
layed out for you to tread
These thoughts are with me as I head to bed.

Good Night!

Ridvan

The tent was pitched, Flowers covered the ground
Birds sang, wind blew, and petals flew around

The seeds had been planted, the pollen spread
The path had been layed, a long road ahead

Screams and whispers that the truth had been found
By the flame that emerged, shaking the ground

The pile of roses continued to raise
The world was to be set ablaze

The lightning struck, the candle had been lit,
The thunder spread, for miles they could feel it

Ya Baha'u'l-Abha the call was raised
The Glory of God was divinely praised

Proud Mama

4.23.09 -- Before her 2nd birthday, Jamilah went to the toilet! Enough with the diapers, time for the pull-ups and almost ready for underwear! Yay!

I'm such a proud MAMA!

Gran

MY GRAN!

Fairies prancing in the yard
Canal walks for miles
Rolling pin and lots of lard

Fairy letters, fairy tales
Dreaming and Believing
Fairy Queen never fails

Long walks... with lots of stiles
Chased by a swan for
What seemed like lots of miles

Fairy cakes and Christmas cakes
Mince pies and Mud pies
Sausasge Rolls she freshly bakes

MY GRAN!

Mind Spin

Destined... can you see the future?
Appearing
Eager to see, but definitely fearing

To... can you envision my direction?
A far off place, a path yet to be treaded
A vision, a dream
A long river or stream
Something in between
Being and Been, yet to be seen

Be... can you make out the letters?
Of creation
Simple sign of unification

Beat... can you tap that rhythm?
An entire marching band with'em
Different tones to be heard
The rhythm moves with the herd
Rapidly getting fasterHeart racing towards happily ever after!

Stop... can you feel the ground?
Shaking...
My soul and spirit Awakening

Listen... can you hear the sound?
Cogs turning round and around
Mind spinning in an abyss
Memory swirling in remenisc...
Ence - what life woulda coulda shoulda been
Resentment not welcome -- not fit for this queen!

Memories & Dreams

My memories gone?
Correction… My memories have just begun.

My journey just started.
At present; the past departed.

My memory sources from now.
Forward moving; not dwelling on how.

This dream I’ve been chasing
Will one day meet the reality I’ve been facing

Antelope through the desert, Fish through the coral reef
My dream is headed with yours, though you may not carry my belief

Focused on concepts that one can only feel
Scent, taste, hearing, or vision cannot make it any more real

Lights shooting through the northern sky
Aiming for those same stars, reaching oh so high

Descending, soaring, sweeping downward
Humbly changing focus from how high to a motion forward

Running through life, making count each stride
In you God I trust… and in you Friend I confide

(Inspiration: Realizing all my poems and ramblings were on the hard drive that crashed a few months ago)

Priceless

Diapers - $45/pack
Dress - $20/outfit
Shoes - $20/pair

Jamilah wearing a clean diaper, under her new dress, with her new shoes -- doing practically anything -- PRICELESS

Words cannot express the joy this child emits while praying, singing, coloring, playing, running, sleeping. Words cannot begin to describe the sadness caused by her tears, her sobs, and silent cries! Words can help convey the thoughts and feelings surrounded by the love a mother has for her child. Words can assist to paint the picture for those who have not yet experienced parenthood or a love as strong as parents feel.

I will attempt at painting the picture to provide you with a glimpse into our world... ENJOY!

"Mama!"
Sense of pride for I am her's
"Pleaaaaaaaaaase"
Longingness to meet all her desires
"Becca? Ro-Ro?"
Comfort in her feeling supported and loved
"Pretty"
Imagine life is beautiful in her eyes
"He is God! O God My God"
Assurance that God walks with her
"Hot, Cold"
Confidence in her common sense
"No!"
Humored by her determination
"Stop it!"
Embarassed by her confrontation
"...Fier"
Rest assured her rest will be blessed
"I Lo Yu"
Ya Baha'u'l-Abha!

Why is Ignorance considered Bliss?

Why is Ham served on Easter?

Why is Baa Baa Black Sheep taught to children?

Why is a child's Tantrum called "a Paddy"?

Why is Native-inspired clothing Fashionable?

Why is Health-conscious Trendy?

Why is Organic is a buzz word?

Why is Humility associated with Self-Esteem?

Why is Affordable Cheap?

Why is Hearing not often paired with Listening?

Why is

Dream of Balance

Trying to find equilibrium and common ground
Trying to unify the apparent and unfound
Trying to be at peace between the present and past
Trying not to resent but letting that story last

A one sided pendulum wouldn't ever make a sound
A one sided parakeet wouldn't ever leave the ground
A one sided dove would land in the dirt
A one sided love would forever hurt

Not knowing what's on the other side
Not knowing whether to fly or hide
Not knowing what's on your mind
Not knowing whether I'm blind

A fairy tale at the end of the day
A hope the ending is without dismay
A dream so pleasantly fit for a queen
A reality will one day be seen

Ironic Story

A message so clear, yet so undefined
An idea so workable, yet so impractical
Wanting to dream, but wanting to make it a reality

An ocean of words, yet no speech to match them
A problem present, yet a solution apparent
Wanting to believe in it, but not believing it

A man so close, yet so far
A woman so bold, yet so consciously shy
Wanting it to be seen, but not wanting to show it

An ironic story, yet a plausible tale
A listening ear, yet a muted voice
Wanting to let it be known, but not wanting to tell it...

This is my ironic story.

Age 5

Five... Panj... Cinq... Cinco... Khamsah....

Five is MY magic number. The number when light may turn into darkness or from darkness may emerge the light. Age 5, my fondest memories. 1995, my voyage to the US, 2005 my voyage from turmoil to shame.

Jamilah's age 5. The turning point is marked on the calendar by May 16, 2012. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I have strived to align my life by this time -- To establish stability, to define purpose, to maintain love and happiness in the home. I pray almost every day that by age 5, our family will include a man with unconditional love for Jamilah and I. The foundation of our family will be complete and the path ahead will be clear.

I suppose you could say this is my dream... my wish... my fairy tale. To me it is not just a mere fairy tale... nor is it as mystical as a dream or wish. It is a patient trusting in God, a fair game involving prayer, faith, determination, patience, and persistence.

AGE 5...My Prayer...Undoubtedly Will Be Answered!