Black Shoes.

She wore black shoes

He watched as she made her moves

One step at a time she walked

Puttin beats in his rhyme he gawked

She wore black heels

The sort that healed

The sores that had been made before

With a glance she opened his every door

She wore black boots

She climbed ladders and slid down shoots

He helped her up, he saw her fall

He prayed she'd never cry or bawl.

HE

He reached out his hand for me to hold and hugged me
He whispered in my ear "Isn't she Lovely!"
A gentle reminder of the #1 priority
A call to join the mother/daughter sorority

He never left my side
He was always along for the ride
Through trials and tribulations
Through pains and commiserations

He guided me in the right direction
He heated my soul with a mighty convection
Made me unto a brilliant star and a radiant light
Gave me the wings that would allow me to take flight

He is the one I thanks every day
He is the one to who I kneel and pray
He is the only one who can truly hear my call
He is the only one who could ever make me fall

Once Upon a Glorious Time

I thought I had it figured out
I thought I knew
Realizing now I definitely did not
Have the slightest clue

Listen as I share
Lend an ear, show you care
As I tell the story
Of a pair once in their glory

A nightingale flew overhead
The sweetest of songs could be heard from his bed
As he lay frozen in awe
He watched as she swooped and to high heights did soar

Her tale he believed may not yet have been told
Attracted, her character he decided to explore and unfold
He would discover the mysteries hidden behind her eyes
As he uncovered the bright smiles hidden behind her sighs

Her wings broken and frail
Yet her confidence would not allow her to fail
A vision so clear and defined
A persistence so apparently refined

Underneath each wing a prayer
Between each song, a breath of fresh air
Without a doubt, he simply knew
The destination towards which she flew

Closely he followed with his eyes
As he watched her triumph tests upon tests in the skies
But more so he listened with his ears
And wished he could listen to her for years upon years

She saw from a distance, his eyes fixed upon her gaze
She glanced around and all that once was became a haze
Had he heard her every note?
And read every word she had wrote?

Suddenly she spiraled down and fell to the ground
His heart skipped a beat, he lowered his head and frowned
What happened to her graceful flight?
How could I not see her daily plight?

His mind spun, his vision blurred
He did not know what had occurred
How could she have failed to soar?
It had seemed that open, for her, was every door?

Without difficulties, without a single test
She explained that success was better left to rest
Without trials, without an obstacle to defeat
She would prefer to give up and take a seat

To be continued...

This is It, Ready for Love

--IA--
I am ready for love
Why you hiding from me?
With a wink, nudge, and shove
A hint for you to join me
--IA--

--MJ--
It is clear in my heart
That you're very near
I have played out my part
To me you're so dear
--MJ--

--IA--
I am sensing your spirit
With each breath that I take
With each action I feel it
I can't make a mistake
--IA--

--MJ--
Tell me your story
And I'll lend you my ear
You speak with glory
With no doubt or no fear
--MJ--

--IA--
This truth that he speaks
It spreads o'er lands
Such havoc it wreaks
Making both foes and fans
--IA--

--MJ--
You should stay, by my side
By the laws you will abide
Take my hand, lead the way
I will listen to all that you say
--MJ--

--IA--
I am ready for love
Won't you please take my hand
I reached out above
Knowing you'd understand
--IA--

--MJ--
It is you that I think of
As I lay down my head
In my dreams you did linger
As I rose from my bed
--MJ--

--IA--
I was ready to rise
With you by my side
As I opened my eyes
With happiness I cried
--IA--

--MJ--
Reaching out my arms
Falling down to the floor
Sounding the alarms
On knees I did implore
--MJ--

--IA--
Possess a pure heart
Be a radiant light
Join the line at the start
Get ready to fight
--IA--

--MJ--
This is it, here I stand
Knowing you surely understand
I am here, here and now
It is clear as I take my bow
--MJ--

--IA--
I am ready for love
Both the joys and the pains
A broken winged dove
Perseverance remains
--IA--

Couldn't Have Stated It Any Better!

As I sit here and listen to India Arie's "Ready for Love" -- I realize I couldn't have stated it better so I might as well make it a part of my blog...

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity

I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace
Lately I've been thinking
Maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say watch what you ask for
Cause you might receive
But if you ask me tomorrow
I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance
I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music
A man who loves art
Respects the spirit world
And thinks with his heart

I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love
Here with an offering of
My voice
My Eyes
My soul
My mind

Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love

I am ready


**When I am ready to explain in my own words, I will post my own blog post -- my words -- nothing but the truth in artful expression.

Open The Door

Light shone directly into mine eyes
Fresh breeze brushed by my feet
Although inclined to run
I remained facing and felt the heat

The call had been raised, the trumpets blasted
My ears became keen to the melody that sounded
Although seeming to be in the distance
In an instance I was pleasantly surrounded

Amidst the intense heat
And the incredible beat
Content with my destined feat
I slowly took my seat

Immersed yet aware
I slowly bowed my head
And listened to the words
That had to be said

With the words as my guide
I arose and walked in the very direction
My destination seemingly clear
But indeed a mighty misconception

End of the journey presented a door
The road was to never come to an end
It was clear there was to be much more
Messages to send and services to tend

The necessary ardor
Head raised
A pinch of faith
Lips parted ways

Feeling as if
I could almost soar
At the top of my lungs
Screamed "Open the Door!"

Hiatus

You came, you witnessed, you saw
Nothing at all, your vision has not one flaw
The emptiness blatant
The message latent

Appearing blank, lonely it stood
Statement frank and understood
Busy was an easy cover
For the thoughts that truly did hover

The hazy fog beginning to clear
The lazy blog writer is sincere
Her words confident yet humble
As she attempts to neither stutter nor fumble

If time had been allowed
And rhyme been read aloud
Accent would attract the ears
And words inspire the peers

But alas the time is now
Let not the writer take her bow
And leave, but allow her to speak and listen,
Believe, and let her spirit truly glisten!

Written Whisper

Like writings on the wall, the mind is constantly scribblin
Wanting to tell you all, aristically rhymin and riddlin
Chasing thoughts, racing lines of expression
Seeking naught, not leavin a particular impression

Inspire me, take me to high heights
A fire in me, a spark bringing light to sights
Distantly dreaming, of things seen and unseen
Incredibly seeming, whether mean or serene

A gentle whisper in my ear, a twinkle in my eye
So incredibly sincere, a rare star in my sky
Too precious to elaborate, my little secret not to tell
Few could appreciate, the heaven made out of hell

Our Path

God walks with us
This we should know
As we walk his path
Confidence we will show

Affirmed by the love felt beside
With faithful minds
And joyous hearts
Our journey of service unwinds

Our destiny rolled out before us
Each step unclear
However, at fast pace we stroll
And the vision becomes near

The present, a journey from past to future
A moment in time
Short lived
Reason to write this rhyme

Journey Home

Focus vision...
The purpose defined
The success assured
The responsibility refined
Focus vision...

Trek upwards...
The challenge is to overcome
The test is never done
The peak is heightened
Trek upwards...

Glance back...
The history so clear yet without details
The past so impactful on the future
The prior tests so minor in comparison
Glance back...

Voyage on...
The path God hath prepared
The task hath no end
The road less traveled hath been set forth
Voyage on...

Come home...
The starting point of your journey
The place where your heart remains
The establishment of your family
Come home...

(TBA) -- it's too late to think of titles...

I listened and heard
To every single word
You spoke with tact
Making spiritual contact

Understanding arose
Each line sounding as if from prose
Consistently meaningful
Mind and heart seeming full

Certain the truth was laid bare
I tried to handle with care
Let loose the barriers that had existed
Defense tools with which I had been double fisted

Knowing full well I didn't need to expose
My feelings, they were known, no need to impose
Bashful, yet bold
An apparent strong hold

At peace with the past
The present running by fast
The future unknown, yet with high hope
I remind you rocket fuel is dearer than rope

Blessed by It

Truly blessed
As witness to another test
Dream at hand
Wisdom guides to understand
The past, the present
The moon at half crescent

Light seeps from within
A glow, spectrum so thin
Uniquely alert
Of both the joy and the hurt
The pain and the gain
Pragmatic yet insane

Life does unfold
As the story is told
A glimpse into the past
Makes the present seem to last
The dream will live a life long
As it is heard in each word of each song

Mon ami, Mi amore
It's been heard all before
Guard risen to protect me
No time to rest, no place to be
Other than at home in faith and in spirit
At one without fear from being near It

Reflect

Prayin to reflect
Yearnin to write
Striving to be
At peace, a sense of security
Mind at rest, simple serenity

At night, baby at rest
Lights dimmed low
Reflection at its best
Realization of self
Proves to be a difficult test

Relaxation may be the goal
But tensely racing mind
Takes over body and soul

Let Go, Fly Free

Time came, time passed
Smiles, giggles, and laughs
Quickly followed a feeling that
Wholes had become halfs

Out of whack, out of balance
So incredibly clear to me
That without unity of vision
There is no apparent equality

Twas my dream that scared me
I wanted nothing less nor more
Than to take you by the hand
And like two doves... soar

You said you could not promise me
That you had nothing to provide
It simply wasn't meant to be
Between us was a great divide

No longer will you be a shadow
In my every thought
Far removed from the web
By which you had me caught

Realign my energies
Focus on my goals and aspirations
Praying and simply obeying
As I feel release of my exasperations

I'm liberated, flying free
So glad to finally just be
At one with myself
Contently just me

Childhood Tale: Love & Basketball

Let me tell you a story of a little girl. From a young age, she's always thought she had it all figured out.

As the kids ran past her for recess, she watched carefully, taking it all in. Doors swung wide open, kids racing to the swings, the monkey bars, the chalked four square, the kickball field, the basketball court. She slowly paced behind, her eyes transitioning from ground to teacher to sky, trying to find comfort in her surrounds. Each child seemed to have a place on the playground and so did she. The park bench at the very edge of the basketball court, just a short distance from the hoop. Courtside, she had the best view from here. She could look on at all her classmates playing in their appropriate parts of the playground. Sometimes she had the playground monitor to converse with, but mostly she sit quiet and alone. Staring down boy. Her heart leaped as boy jumped and her heart soared as the ball swished through the hoop. She was one with boy, with the game. She could feel the energy as he ran for the ball, as he yelled and screamed at his teammates to pass the ball, as he ran out of breath and needed water, she wished she had a secret stash of water to provide. Her imagination flowed and before she knew it the bell rang. It was time to go inside. Today's daydream was over. That evening as she lay in bed, she could recount each shot boy made, she could remember each assist, each block, each break, each dunk. She was certain this was love, she was 9 yrs old of course she had it all figured out. She closed her eyes, fell asleep, dreamt of him, and the next day a similar story would repeat.

13 years later, as she recalls this story, she remembers the feelings she felt, the foolishness her dreams set her up for, the reality her imagination led her to believe in, and as she realizes the similarities between this childhood tale and her current approach to love, she wonders if she will ever grow up and when she will understand the reality that exists beyond the one her imagination has comfortably led her to believe in... for so many years.

Reflections from GLBC

The ground work has been set
Unity in spirit surrounds
Placed gently on the table is a thought
An idea that will make its rounds

Redundancy interrupts the flow
Repetition not necessary at all
Certainty of divine guidance
Assured that He will respond to our call

God will chair the discussion
He will lead the way
In harmony we may come to a decision
Yet He will have the final say

"Bring thyself to account each day"
"Beware lest ye offend any soul"
As these quotes repeat in your mind
Throughout the day you become more whole

GLBC -- Sneak Peek

A hiatus from life as I have known it
A surge into the ink as it is written on a new page
A glance at the new world order as it unfolds
A tale untold as it is told

Prayer Readings Integration Service Meditation

As I look through this prism
I see the past and the present in the same accord
I see a lens through which to view the vision
I see wasted energies and future potentialities

Sincere devotion, verdant desire
Dedication in thought and in action
Prayer and Obedience
Sung together in the utmost harmony

Although it is quite late and I am not able to artistically compose my reflections on this past weekend's Baha'i Conference in Green Lake, WI, over the next few days I hope to use the talks and sessions from the GLBC to inspire this week's Blog Posts. More to come -- keep posted!

Mindful Tear

Listen, can you hear the sound?
I felt it as it shook the ground
I walked on... and on...
Farther into the distant future

And stopped. Became present.
My body, a temple for my soul
Has arisen to serve it's master
My soul, brought my body to account in whole

My mind -- resentful, my thoughts -- needy
They arose and took control
They filled my heart with sorrow and much woe
I cried... inside whilst I realized I had lost my glow

Sought light from a socket instead of a flame
Sought shelter from the pouring rain
Transparent, I felt each drop as it came
As I tried to look up, my head bowed in shame

A failure in my mission
I stood before you hoping to take flight
I prayed, I did listen
Yet truth was blinded from my sight

Having heard nothing at all
Having opened my mouth
And let meaningless words fall
Instead of East, facing South

I silently took my seat
Felt my heart faintly beat
I smiled, giggled, and even tried to laugh
Deep down I knew this too shall verily pass

A part of me had been so assured
Dreams had encircled my sleep
Did not imagine I could be foolishly lured
Or that into the trap, I would fall so deep

I came eye to eye with my little girl
I remembered the reason I was here
I let the emotions unfurl
I held my head high and held back the tear

How could I have possibly
Allowed myself to focus and dwell
On anyone save Thee and she.
From this thought my eyes did swell

Embodied in fear
Lowly and meek,
I let that one and only tear
Slowly roll down my cheek.

Lil Nav Moved to College Today!

College dorm
You moved in today
I'm so proud of you
Even more so than in May

My little bro shinin like a star
Makin friends left and right
Confident that you'll make great decisons
You've got vision and clear sight

Advice... I got plenty
Hit the books, hit the sheets
Hit the cafeteria for meals
Then go out for treats!

Study when you can, pray when you can't
Attend each class and participate -- be smart
Open your eyes to the things that mean most
Excercise your mind, body, soul -- and heart

Find comfort in transformation
Find excitement in exploration
Find knowledge in education
Find faith in meditation

As you leap and take strides
You don't need to be told any of the above
We all praise your every step
Just know your cared about and loved

So Near To Me, So Dear To Me

So bitter, not quite sweet
Savoring the bittersweet
Taste of your presence
A memory so clear, the tense
Present not past
That moment did last
In my thoughts, in my dreams
Round the corner, betwen the seams
Lingering ever so quietly
The thought of you near to me
Spritually aware
With a glance and a stare
To the Lord above
Seen a white dove
As I asked for a sign
From the one divine
For this I am blessed
And my mind is put to rest

Guard Protecting this Queen from the Unforeseen

As her heart fell to the ground
Her guard slowly began to raise
Her mind fixated on the past
History and present, a blended haze

Had been certain of her path ahead
A fate that wasn’t meant to be
Clear skies above
But still that she could not see

Been there, done that
A reoccurring story
History repeated
A queen without glory

A Fairy's Flutter

A breath of fresh air
A sigh of relief
Images of birds heard above
While deep in a coral reef

A warm welcome smile
Dimples and all
Felt a flutter in my heart
As I felt it fall

With open arms
I let you in
Those arms folded now
As I pose with a grin

I would say
I've been counting sheep
But very little
Did I actually sleep

As I dreamt
I thought of that day
You will turn to me
With the best of words to say

Perhaps I'm blinded in vison
But surely clear in sight
I'm certain that I will
Not need to put up much of a fight

I'm a fairy who flies without a doubt
A dreamer of sorts that flutters about
That remembers there's no need to pout
That soars as she sees the clear way out

Morning Tide

Dreams and nightmares swirl like a hurricane
Stormy weather, wind, thunder, and rain
But when the morning tide comes
So does the sound of sweet bird hums

Futons shipping late, Vendors unloyal
Customers irate, Problems brew and boil
But when the morning sun rises
The boat carrying the load capsizes

All I can think of is where our future lies
Whether our dreams will allow us to reach the skies
But when the morning tide fairs
I turn with faith to Him and sing prayers

Can I Get A Number Please?

Lord, can I get a number please?
Any moment, I will surely join the line
At the present, actually I'm doing just fine
Behind the strangers, the family members, and friends
Wait my turn and watch the line extend at both ends

Lord, can I get a number please?
I know that she has cancer and has been knocking at your door
I know he wants an answer and has been knocking at your door
I know they just lost their family pet and have been knocking at your door
I know I have no reason to fret, but I am knocking at your door

Lord, can I get a number please?
He prayed you would remove his grief
She prayed that the pain would be brief
They prayed this test would bring them no harm
All I prayed for was a lucky charm

Lord, can I get a number please?
Her trials and tribulations seem so difficult
His files and dissertations seem overbearing
Their cysts and cries seem so painful
My lists and sighs seem so painless

Lord, can I get a number please?
When you get a moment, I’d love to spend some time
Reviewing my dreams and desires behind this lengthy rhyme
When you have a chance, I’d hope we could sit down
Review that which made you smile and also made u frown

Apologies

Apologies to my blog… I have been absent minded
Slowly becoming somewhat blinded
Thoughts rambling in no such direction
Without vision, clarity, or grammatical perfection

You secretly reveal
That which I feel
My deepest secrets can be read between your lines
The words carry truths, falsities, and display signs

I often wonder where the truth lies
I look within and let out gasps and sighs
Turning to prayer
In His direction I stare

Game of Life

My life, your life
This life is simply a game
We are the players
Identified by our name

One move at a time
We tread our path
Oblivious of the outcome or
Whether the action will cause wrath

This game is filled with emotion
A life of joy, grief, some pain
A twisted maze of ladders and slides
Some fall, some reap, some gain

What hand have you been dealt?
What moves are you able to make?
Can you anticipate his or her next move?
Can you be sure of what is truly at stake?

They say "Life is simply not fair"
It isn't -- truth has been told
Justice is a virtue, so is honesty
Gems that the players must unfold

In one direction I placed my focus
Made moves, too fast
Blinded by a sense of certainty
That this success would last

Stop! Time out!
But the game, it keeps on
I lost my turn
Sigh and weep -- but got to move on!

Mind, Body, and Soul...

Mind, Body, and Soul
Components of my whole
Being, Healthy and strong
Foundation for my steady song

Mind racing
Soul chasing
Body leaps
Spirit reaps

Laughter and smiles
Carry me for miles
Taking me to a place
Where I feel his embrace

Change and constancy
Thoughtful tendency
Fear of adversity
Attaction to diversity

Steady rhythm workin out
No i'm not tworkin out
I'm on a mind run, a soul build, and a body tone
Over mountains, through fields, in the zone

Focused on healthy being
Improvement assuredly seeing
Across all fronts
Behind all grunts

Faith a magnificent energy
Fueling the needed synergy
Letting go, being free
Ultimately being me

Spirit Travels

Distance is but a meer physical state
My friends scattered as determined by fate
My family spread far and wide
My destiny tread, true yet tried
With confidence I walk my path
With limited pain, anguish, or wrath
Assured and understood
Lift my head to him above

Your near to me, not far
Your dear to me, so far
Never could you doubt
Never should you pout
I found that what I sought, and care
For you are in my thought and prayer
Discovered a few meanings of the love
Uncovered some new gleanings from above

Souls and sprits free
You have got to believe me
Mine soars and leaps
Mine roars and reaps
The benefits so divine
The love so in line
With the truth, With the cause
With the faith, And it's laws

Journey to each place
Turn me at fast pace
To where I am needed
Or the message will be heeded
Close your eyes and I'm gone
Open your eyes and I'm one
With you, I am there
So true, that I care.

Oh Blog

Oh blog... Oh how I wish I could divulge to you all my thoughts and desires.

But I can't.

Time to sleep.

I will awake from this pending slumber shortly.

Ciao

Please...

Give me a light
Give me a mirror
Give me a sign
You'll always be near

Give me a sound
Give me a tone
Give me the thoughts
That make me zone

Give me twinkles
Give me stars
Give me a route
Through Venus to Mars

Give me rain
Give me sun
Give me a path
To walk and to run

Give me a piece
Give me all
Give me a little taste
Pleaes hear my call

Caged Bird

I understand why the caged bird sings
Her song gives her spirit wings
She can accomplish wonders
She can soar through dreams
This caged bird is singing
Different tones for differing themes!

We have responsibilities, we have fears,
We have loved ones, we have arrears,
We have friends, we have foes,
We have joys, we have woes.

We are human, we are whole,
We are mind, body, and soul
We are divine, we are blessed
We are clothed and some are well dressed

We pray, we dream
We listen, we scream
We fight, we pass by
We smile, and sometimes we cry

We live, we learn
We give, we earn
We want, we deserve
We discard, we preserve

For the
Nightingales without songs
Doves that have committed wrongs
Larks with injured wings
This caged bird loudly sings

Deepening

I had an amazing deepening with a close friend of mine tonight! Although we deepened on many topics, the most impactful for me was our discussion and study of the writings regarding Self and the lower and higher nature of self... Spirit vs. Ego.

I must go to sleep now -- as it's 2am -- but will surely return to my blog and reflect on our deepening in the next few days.

I AM TRULY BLESSED TO HAVE THE WRITINGS OF THE FAITH -- YA BAHA'U'L-ABHA!

Why Fear?

I seem to be in constant battle with my deepest fears... however as I ran through my fears, I began to realize that with deeper faith I wouldn't have the fears... so i suppose my deepEST fear is that i may not have enough faith to triumph the fears!

"Scary! Mama! Scary!"
Jamilah squealed as I started to let go of her in the pool
I realized that I could relate...

Whenever I lose the slightest amount of faith
And the grasp of God's hands on my life loosens
"Scary!" I scream.

Or when the path ahead starts to thin
Or the footsteps to follow are not as clear
"Scary!" I scream.

When the thought of hatred or war passes by
And the thought of love and friendliness doesn't immediately conquer
"Scary!" I scream.

Or a realization of the injustices and the feeling of helplessness
Or a false sense of security in the culmination material assets
"Scary!" I scream.

Whenever the time flies by
And I forgot to stop and appreciate
"Scary!" I scream.

Or when I'm headed down the wrong path
Or the right path is in the wrong direction
"Scary!" I scream.

Whenever my life flashes by me
And I realize my role and responsibility
"Scary!" I scream.

This thought process must STOP
There's no reason to fear in this life
The purpose has been made clear
"I Bear Witness O My God, That Thou Hast Created Me To Know Thee and To Worship Thee...:
and in worshipping thee
thou hast granted thy heavenly bestowals
thou hast sent down divine confirmations
and provide me with inifinite faith

So I must have no fear
The road is clear
The path does veer
And the end is not near

This journey I must travel alone
Holding God's hand instead of a cell phone
Supported by prayers instead of credit or loan
A pure heart and a virtuous soul I must hone!

It May Be

It may not be practical
It may not make sense
It may be so simple
It may be quite intense

It is what it is
It cannot be denied
It must be given a chance
It may often be tried

It may last a moment
It may last forever
It may be foolish
It may be quite clever

It is real at present
It cannot be suppressed
It must be recognized
It may be manifest

Whatever it may
Whatever it might
I am certain that currently
It is truly ever so right!

The Camel in my Life!

(a take on the saying -- there's an elephant in the room)

I opened my ears and heard
I listened to every single word
I left it in God’s hands
I prepared to voyage o’er lands
I tied up my camel but stayed closely by its side
I ran around a bush in an attempt to hide
I looked on as the camel patiently waited
I watched as my attachment slowly faded
I began to walk away from the situation
I sought for confirmation and prayed without hesitation
I closed my eyes and the camel was still there
I sighed with relief, and huffed with despair
I knew that that camel was as real as can be
I knew that that camel would not ever leave me!

Prayerful Morn

Oh how I dream
Oh how I pray
Oh how I sing
All my fears away!

In this day,
At this time,
My heart is ablaze
And my soul does chime

Oh how I wonder
Oh how I care
Oh how I know
God is always there

(Reflections from a prayerful morn)

Coupled Solidarity

(this poem was written for me recently from a close friend. I was graciously given permission to post it here as it fits and belongs on this blog -- i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoy sharing it!)

Coupled Solidarity

the question lingered....

her cheeks grew bright red, and
she lowered her head to cover a
smile from him.

he wondered if it would happen....
but wait, he was a gentleman. he thought,
‘i am a gentleman.’ She lifted her head and
found his eyes. he knew the same thought
ran through her mind. her and him doing....
her eyes unfurled. but wait, she was a lady.
she thought, ‘i am a lady.’

the questioned lingered....

how long of a wait before he tells her,
or she tells him...two weeks, one month,
three months, six.... soon a year would
pass.

two daydreamers. too much distance, too
little time, and only one life. God teases this
abstract with emotion. too difficult to
prove perfect, even when the mind meets
the heart in the same commune.
love surges, but time does not agree.

the question lingered....

pupils expand and contract to let the light
penetrate and allow the enlightened pupils
to envelop in change, adapt to coincidence,
engage in growth, and challenge falsity.

the question lingered...the question persists.
truly enlightened they do not force hand,
but leave it in God's hands.

Blogger's Block....

Period.

but then... I begin to sign out and then...

the words seem to come to me... they hit the screen magnificently... perhaps not making sense... and not in perfect tense... but none the less they come, on a run are my fingers and thumb.

11pm -- bout time i rest my head -- about 30 minutes before I climb into bed. Tonight's thoughts are a rambling disaster, typing swiftly whilst my mind is running faster.

Used my better judgement and thought it best not to divulge this eve,
But promise in the near future... my thoughts u will receive.

Just Another?

Someone told me during Memorial Weekend that my 'situation' was 'unique' but...

I'm just another:
Half-Persian / Half-Brit with a White Mom and a Brown Father
Young single Mom with an active 2 yr old
College grad with a basic bachelors degree
Baha'i with a limited understanding of the cause
Daughter with additional roles of being a sister and a mother
Business woman with a clear vision of the glass ceiling

I know many people that fit each of the above which makes me just another.

But then, I do not aspire to be just another charity case or society statistic
I aspire to be an active servant of the faith of Baha, a walking culmination of virtues, and a living dreamer taking my wildest dreams and translating them into reality.

If you have any tips or suggestions for reaching my aspiration -- please feel free to send them in my direction.

--From a somewhat lost soul

Navid's Graduation

Navid--

I remember the day Mum & Papa told us of the great news

Didn't know until then I'd have another brother to amuse!

You were born, Glad Tidings came

You're definitely living up to your name!

The banner has been raised, the trumpet blast sounded

The little drummer boy is on his way and yes we're all astounded!

To your family, you're our star

We all knew you would go far!

For of course, you were always the "perfect son"

The best behavior, the greatest joy, can't deny that was you hon!

God endowed you with the necessary wisdom and talent

You have been handed the sheet music, the drum and the mallet!

Now make it happen, make us proud

Blazen His name to the world aloud!

Mission accomplished or journey just begun

Both include hard work and making time for having fun!

You're a loving brother, da'ee, and friend

You're always there with a hand to lend!

Words cannot begin to summarize

The pride and joy we get from seeing you rise!

Congratulations & Lots of love,

Dominique

---------------------------------------

Da'ee Navid,

I will follow your lead

I will look up to you today

And tomorrow without dismay

Mama told me you're the best

You stand apart from all the rest

And I can't wait for the day

When you come to me and say

"Jamilah, great job on your education,

Congrats on your Graduation"

That day will come before you know

Cuz Da'ee day by day quickly I grow

Thank you for being my guiding lamp

When I'm big, I might even go to band camp!

-- Jamilah

(Mama helped a bit)

Two Years Passed By

Two years passed by....
Like a twinkling of an eye
Like a shooting star through the sky
Two years passed by...

Many more to come...
Like a plant from a green thumb
Like a beg from a street bum
Many more to come...

Fast it went yet also slow...
Like a first fall of snow
Like a plant that did grow
Fast it went yet also slow...

Friends and family were so dear...
Like a hug to hold you near
Like a fall without a fear
Friends and family were so dear...

Looking forward to the years ahead...
Like a glimpse of tomorrow as I head to bed
Like a look to the future in the quote he said
Looking forward to the years ahead...

Today At This Place

Sunday was Mother’s Day
Saturday will be her 2nd Birthday
Spring has sprung upon us
And summer is round the corner
The flowers might bloom
New bed, new room
Looking back at the path we’ve tread
The place we’ve made our homestead
The place that we work, the place that we play
The place we’ll leave in the middle of May
Moving forward, have we made progress
Looking back, have we achieved success?

Ride of my Life

Life has taken me for an adventure
Life has taken me for a ride
Spin me round in circles
And left me to dry outside

Life has made me run for miles
Life has provided me with ups and downs
Sent me up ladders and down slides
Threw me onto merry-go-rounds

Life is my daily adventure
Life is my daily grind
My goals, dreams, and fears
Take over my mind

Mind Race In Place of Sleep

Tired... but can't sleep
Can jump... but can't leap

A sigh... followed by a grin
An angel... mixed with a lil sin

My life... exhausting yet tireless
My mind... heated yet fireless

Each morn... set out for action
Each eve... assesses satisfaction

Armed... and asking for courage
Prepared... with all the right luggage

Journey... constantly beginning
The race... I'll always be winning

Reflecting... the light of the sun
Knowing... I'll one day have a son

Praying... without a single fear
Singing... his words so loud and clear

A call... follow by a response
Question... provide an answer once

Lesson... learnt yet never understood
Test... passed yet not knowing that I could

Alas... the day is over yet just begun
God... in his path we have just started to run

Swirling Thoughts Inside My Head -- Sweet Dreams As I Head to Bed

A spark, a flame
A feeling without a name

The calm after it storms
The first drop of rain as it forms

A rock thrown's sound as the ripples spread
The silence heard as I lay down my head

A thought of laughter, a thought of fear
A thought of knowing you'll always be here

The bittersweet of key lime pie
The spicy taste that makes you cry

A tiny fish in an ocean of possibilities
The whale as it swims through foreseeable seas

A wave as large as the trials we'll face
A garden of flowers for the joys we'll encase

The triumph at the end of the day
The last drum roll before the news he'll relay

A butterfly or a pretty white dove
The beauty seen when it joins it's love

Evenin Blessin

Small hand upon your cheek
That twinkle in her eyes...
Has it been there all week?

A book, a prayer, a song
Her nighttime routine
Doesn't last very long

And then it's off to bed
Goodnight and Sweet Dreams
As she lays down her head

My baby girl's asleep
Her dream has begun
No need for counting sheep

She's my only true love
My Evenin' Blessin
That God sent from above

Energy... Wasted?

The buzz on the street is that waste can be turned into energy.
Can I waste energy and then take that waste and turn it into energy?
A recycle per se – a second chance to not waste the energy in the first place?
As I look back on the energy wasted I wonder in what form it could have taken?
What could that energy have been put forth to create?
Can I transform another’s wasted energy?
Can I prevent the energy from wasting?

And the ramble continues in my mind... the rest is mine!

Convoluted Happiness

Smile and a tear, Laughter with fear
Familiar sound I faintly hear

Sunshine and rain, Joy mixed with pain
Strolling down a long windy lane

A common thread, the path we tread
A vision of what lies ahead

I ask you to, Remember who
Caused those rays of light to shine through

And then one day, the truth you may
See for yourself and share away

You will tell me, Clearly I'll see
That it was simply meant to be!

Lovin Beyonce's New Album!

HALO:
Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace
You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away
I can feel your halo halo halo...
Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light
I swore I’d never fall again
But this don’t even feel like falling
Gravity can’t forget
So pull me to the ground again
Feels like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breaking
The risk that I’m taking
I’m never gonna shut you out

BROKEN-HEARTED GIRL:
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl
Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out




Yeah... yeah... I know...I'm a total sappy hopeless romantic fool! :) Gotta love me for that!

Spiritual Deputization

You are free as the wind
You soar and nothing hind-
ers you from reaching those heights
Your vision stretches beyond my present sights

Me, I’m somewhat restrained
Somewhat lacking in being well trained
To teach, and reach out far and wide
To travel the world, make that big stride

I want to spiritually deputize you
I want to live through you
Your travels, your experiences, your knowledge, your desires
Your passions, your conversations, your interactions, your fires

Travel the world for me
Teach every soul you meet
Don’t ever be a slight bit coy
Bring me back a piece of the joy

I’ll pray that you will be safe in your path
I hope blessings for you in his plan god hath
layed out for you to tread
These thoughts are with me as I head to bed.

Good Night!

Ridvan

The tent was pitched, Flowers covered the ground
Birds sang, wind blew, and petals flew around

The seeds had been planted, the pollen spread
The path had been layed, a long road ahead

Screams and whispers that the truth had been found
By the flame that emerged, shaking the ground

The pile of roses continued to raise
The world was to be set ablaze

The lightning struck, the candle had been lit,
The thunder spread, for miles they could feel it

Ya Baha'u'l-Abha the call was raised
The Glory of God was divinely praised

Proud Mama

4.23.09 -- Before her 2nd birthday, Jamilah went to the toilet! Enough with the diapers, time for the pull-ups and almost ready for underwear! Yay!

I'm such a proud MAMA!

Gran

MY GRAN!

Fairies prancing in the yard
Canal walks for miles
Rolling pin and lots of lard

Fairy letters, fairy tales
Dreaming and Believing
Fairy Queen never fails

Long walks... with lots of stiles
Chased by a swan for
What seemed like lots of miles

Fairy cakes and Christmas cakes
Mince pies and Mud pies
Sausasge Rolls she freshly bakes

MY GRAN!

Mind Spin

Destined... can you see the future?
Appearing
Eager to see, but definitely fearing

To... can you envision my direction?
A far off place, a path yet to be treaded
A vision, a dream
A long river or stream
Something in between
Being and Been, yet to be seen

Be... can you make out the letters?
Of creation
Simple sign of unification

Beat... can you tap that rhythm?
An entire marching band with'em
Different tones to be heard
The rhythm moves with the herd
Rapidly getting fasterHeart racing towards happily ever after!

Stop... can you feel the ground?
Shaking...
My soul and spirit Awakening

Listen... can you hear the sound?
Cogs turning round and around
Mind spinning in an abyss
Memory swirling in remenisc...
Ence - what life woulda coulda shoulda been
Resentment not welcome -- not fit for this queen!

Memories & Dreams

My memories gone?
Correction… My memories have just begun.

My journey just started.
At present; the past departed.

My memory sources from now.
Forward moving; not dwelling on how.

This dream I’ve been chasing
Will one day meet the reality I’ve been facing

Antelope through the desert, Fish through the coral reef
My dream is headed with yours, though you may not carry my belief

Focused on concepts that one can only feel
Scent, taste, hearing, or vision cannot make it any more real

Lights shooting through the northern sky
Aiming for those same stars, reaching oh so high

Descending, soaring, sweeping downward
Humbly changing focus from how high to a motion forward

Running through life, making count each stride
In you God I trust… and in you Friend I confide

(Inspiration: Realizing all my poems and ramblings were on the hard drive that crashed a few months ago)

Priceless

Diapers - $45/pack
Dress - $20/outfit
Shoes - $20/pair

Jamilah wearing a clean diaper, under her new dress, with her new shoes -- doing practically anything -- PRICELESS

Words cannot express the joy this child emits while praying, singing, coloring, playing, running, sleeping. Words cannot begin to describe the sadness caused by her tears, her sobs, and silent cries! Words can help convey the thoughts and feelings surrounded by the love a mother has for her child. Words can assist to paint the picture for those who have not yet experienced parenthood or a love as strong as parents feel.

I will attempt at painting the picture to provide you with a glimpse into our world... ENJOY!

"Mama!"
Sense of pride for I am her's
"Pleaaaaaaaaaase"
Longingness to meet all her desires
"Becca? Ro-Ro?"
Comfort in her feeling supported and loved
"Pretty"
Imagine life is beautiful in her eyes
"He is God! O God My God"
Assurance that God walks with her
"Hot, Cold"
Confidence in her common sense
"No!"
Humored by her determination
"Stop it!"
Embarassed by her confrontation
"...Fier"
Rest assured her rest will be blessed
"I Lo Yu"
Ya Baha'u'l-Abha!

Why is Ignorance considered Bliss?

Why is Ham served on Easter?

Why is Baa Baa Black Sheep taught to children?

Why is a child's Tantrum called "a Paddy"?

Why is Native-inspired clothing Fashionable?

Why is Health-conscious Trendy?

Why is Organic is a buzz word?

Why is Humility associated with Self-Esteem?

Why is Affordable Cheap?

Why is Hearing not often paired with Listening?

Why is

Dream of Balance

Trying to find equilibrium and common ground
Trying to unify the apparent and unfound
Trying to be at peace between the present and past
Trying not to resent but letting that story last

A one sided pendulum wouldn't ever make a sound
A one sided parakeet wouldn't ever leave the ground
A one sided dove would land in the dirt
A one sided love would forever hurt

Not knowing what's on the other side
Not knowing whether to fly or hide
Not knowing what's on your mind
Not knowing whether I'm blind

A fairy tale at the end of the day
A hope the ending is without dismay
A dream so pleasantly fit for a queen
A reality will one day be seen

Ironic Story

A message so clear, yet so undefined
An idea so workable, yet so impractical
Wanting to dream, but wanting to make it a reality

An ocean of words, yet no speech to match them
A problem present, yet a solution apparent
Wanting to believe in it, but not believing it

A man so close, yet so far
A woman so bold, yet so consciously shy
Wanting it to be seen, but not wanting to show it

An ironic story, yet a plausible tale
A listening ear, yet a muted voice
Wanting to let it be known, but not wanting to tell it...

This is my ironic story.

Age 5

Five... Panj... Cinq... Cinco... Khamsah....

Five is MY magic number. The number when light may turn into darkness or from darkness may emerge the light. Age 5, my fondest memories. 1995, my voyage to the US, 2005 my voyage from turmoil to shame.

Jamilah's age 5. The turning point is marked on the calendar by May 16, 2012. Since the day I found out I was pregnant I have strived to align my life by this time -- To establish stability, to define purpose, to maintain love and happiness in the home. I pray almost every day that by age 5, our family will include a man with unconditional love for Jamilah and I. The foundation of our family will be complete and the path ahead will be clear.

I suppose you could say this is my dream... my wish... my fairy tale. To me it is not just a mere fairy tale... nor is it as mystical as a dream or wish. It is a patient trusting in God, a fair game involving prayer, faith, determination, patience, and persistence.

AGE 5...My Prayer...Undoubtedly Will Be Answered!

Blurred Sight

I have been told my whole life:
"Good Things come to those who Wait"
"Tests make you Stronger"
"Crisis brings Victory"



I dream of the day when...

I wish upon a star and then...

Pray... and pray... and pray.

For what... who knows?

For when... who cares?

Patience running thin

When turns into if

Thick fog

Turn left, turn right,

Straight ahead -- mental fight

Unclear direction

At the end of the tunnel a light

Dim, not bright, but none the less a light

Faith as my engine, friends as my support

Headed towards the port

From there the ship will sail

Vision will clear the vail!

First Blog

A log of my adventures, a bog of my thoughts, a glob of my words... A BLOG.


What is a blog? I suppose I will define B.L.O.G for myself as I write. Sometimes I wish computers wouldn't have backspaces/delete buttons so that rambles on paper could be... left alone. They don't have to be politically correct, appropriate grammar, accurate spelling. It's a blog, a glob, a log, and a bog. It's a mind spill before bed, it's a mine of gems swirling in my head. It can rhyme, it can chime, it can be boring as hell, or insightfully divine. My B.L.O.G.

Can I roll the thoughts on to the screen and empty the mind before bed? Who knows? But this is my goal. Before bed... the time when the most genuine feelings and emotions can be expressed. The time when reflection is at its best. Is reflection too personal to share or too emotional to bear? I have nothing to hide, no reason to confide in anyone else but you -- the reader. The receiver of my thoughts and ideas, of my joys, sad-tales, and fears.

Eyes are half open and half closed. Good night log, good night blog, good night bog, good night glob. The sun will rise soon, Good night moon!